


Lick Slam Suck

by Twitzy



Category: Ylvis
Genre: AU No Wives No Kids, Gen, I still hate tagging, I wish I knew where to go with this, M/M, silly stuff, this is so fluffy I'm getting cavities, ummm yeah okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-12
Updated: 2016-07-07
Packaged: 2018-03-17 14:03:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 15,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3532028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twitzy/pseuds/Twitzy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is a rule and it's about Tequila. Here's the story about why it's needed in the first place.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lunazul

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Pyou](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pyou/gifts).



> Here you go, Signe! It's finally finished. Took me long enough.  
> We were talking about past experiences involving tequila and I might have overshared a bit, which resulted in me writing this thing.  
> I hope it's somewhat okay and nice to read :)  
> Have fun, people!

It was Friday and someone at the office had come up with the idea of going out for drinks later. There was no special occasion, other than to spend some quality time with colleagues and to have some light conversation that would for once not be about timetables, financial calculations and prop orders. As soon as the office doors had closed behind them, all thoughts about camera equipment and the unsolved mystery of the vanished mic were left behind as they made their way to the chosen destination.

Tonight they would talk about the nice new car they wanted to buy, their plans for the weekend and maybe even about their families and their little everyday struggles.

The bar they were in was hardly new. It was one of those landmarks of a town that had just always been  _there_. There had never been a time when the old metal sign outside hadn't invited passengers inside for a cold drink and some nice music. High tables and stools were spread along the walls of the place, a large bar counter was located to the left and the dark wood and old paint clashed a bit with the sleek wooden planks that formed the small dancing area, or in case of the occasional live show the stage.  
The general feeling was good, the atmosphere relaxed and the drinks delivered quickly.

It was quite a large group that had gathered to have a nice evening out, and Bård was still surprised to see so many faces that he didn't have much contact with usually.

He had mingled for a while, talked to a few people about this and that and ended up standing at a nearby table, waiting for his childhood friend to come back from the bar.  
As soon as Bård caught sight of the tray in his friend's hand, he had an idea of just how badly this evening would end eventually. He groaned and grimaced when he saw Calle grin like a maniac as he walked back to their table in the corner of the room, carefully balancing his precious load.

His head turned left and right as he apologized with an easy smile to the people he bumped into on his way. He steered directly towards Bård and put the tray down to reveal shot glasses, filled to the brim, a salt shaker and carefully sliced lemons on a white little plate.  
The smell of the clear liquid rose up to Bård's nose and he couldn't help but cringe a bit as he recalled the taste sliding down his throat, leaving a hot aroma of disinfectant behind.  
No one would ever be able to tell him that this particular drink was meant for anything other than getting drunk as fast as possible. It tasted like hell in a glass, not even the lemon made it better, everyone looked stupid doing the old ritual and nothing good ever happened under the influence of Tequila.  
Yet somehow Calle preferred this to any other hard liquor on the menu and he did have the goal to get reasonably drunk tonight. So why not start now with the first round?  
He moved from one table to the next, leaving a little glass for everyone, shoving a slice of lemon into their hands and shaking some salt onto the skin between their thumb and index. The looks he received ranged from amused to alarmed, but he swiftly finished his task and returned to Bård's side, putting the last two glasses in front of them.

  
“Bottom's up.”, he said as he grinned from ear to ear, licked off the salt and quickly downed his drink. He didn't even flinch when he bit into the lemon.  
Bård grimaced and acted fast to just get it over with. The sour taste chased away the worst burn in his mouth, but the acid didn't help much to ease the liquor down his throat. He made a noise of distress when he was finally done.  
“Oh, don't whine. It's not that bad, and it was for free.” Calle patted his back and went back to the bar with the empty tray.

Bård thought he'd collect the glasses as a nice gesture to the bartender and waiters, but instead he returned with an entire bottle of tequila in his hand and a mischievous look on his pale face.

“Oh no..” Bård shook his head.

“Oh yes! Do you really think I want to go back there with 20 glasses for a refill? Much easier this way” Calle bumped his friend's shoulder as Bård buried his face in his hands.  
He could already feel the hangover.  
The music got louder and louder as the time passed. The chatter moved on from polite topics to embarrassing stories and offensive jokes as the liquor was poured time and time again.  
Some people had started moving to the music, swaying their inebriated bodies from side to side with an ease that only comes with years of experience or an alcohol induced feel for rhythm.  
  
Bård felt his body temperature rise and his head spin as he stood up to go outside for a few quiet moments.  
Calle quickly grabbed his arm as he swayed slightly on his feet. “You okay?”  
He had a hard time focussing on the worried eyes that were zoning in on him, but he nodded and motioned towards the entrance. “I just..I need some fresh air. My head is a bit fuzzy.”  
“Heh..I believe that.” Calle laughed as he stood up and guided the younger man towards the door, hovering by his side in case Bård lost his balance and didn't manage to catch himself quickly enough.

“You don't have to. You can stay here, if you want to. I'll be right back.” Bård let his hands touch tables and shoulders left and right to keep himself steady while he walked. He turned his head to look at Calle who was following him quietly.  
“Nah, it's okay. I wanted to have a smoke anyway.”  
Bård needed a bit longer than usual to push open the heavy door and when he stepped outside the cool air hit him like a wall. His alcohol levels seemed to have doubled suddenly and he had to take a second to compose himself and stop his surrounding from turning.  
  
“Whew. It's worse than I thought.” Bård giggled as he leaned back against the cold brick wall.

Calle laughed while he fumbled with the old zippo to light the cigarette hanging from his lips.  
“C'mon. You enjoy it.” He breathed in sharply and inhaled the smoke with pure bliss on his face.

“Oh man. This is why it's so hard to stop smoking. It's so good.” Calle closed his eyes and rested his back next to Bård against the wall. He turned his head to the side and eyed the blond beside him.  
“You ok man? You're awfully quiet.”  
“I'm good. It's all good, Calle.” Bård sighed and smiled. “Gimme a drag, you selfish bastard.”

His hand movement may have been poorly coordinated, but Calle -helpful as ever- passed him the cigarette with a smirk and waited for the cough that was bound to follow right after his companion took a drag.  
“Ugh..god how do you manage to smoke these without coughing out your lungs, man?”  
  
Bård looked at the cigarette in his hand with a frown and took another drag before passing it back to Calle.  
“Because I'm tougher than you.” Calle grinned as he saw Bård raise his eyebrows.  
“Oh really?”  
“Yep. Has always been that way, you just didn't notice.”

“So you're saying I'm a wuss?”  
“Well..kinda. Sometimes.”  
Bård pouted at him and then turned his head to stare ahead with a blank face.  
“Oh come on, I didn't mean it like that! Don't sulk.”  
  
Calle laughed a bit and pushed himself off the wall to stand in front of Bård.   
“Come here, you big baby.”, he said as he spread out his arms in an invitation for a hug.  
Bård huffed, but let his friend wrap his arms around him.  
_Why don't we do this more often_ , he thought. _This is quite nice actually._

He let out a sigh and buried his face in the crook of Calle's neck.  
“I really didn't mean it like that.”  
Bård slapped his back lightly. His voice was muffled as he spoke. “Don't kill the mood, you moron.”  
Calle tightened his grip for a second and laid a soft kiss on Bård's scalp.  
They froze.

“Um..oh man..sorry. I didn't – it was just -” he got interrupted by the feeling of Bård's lips pressing little kisses on his neck.

“Bård? What-”

“Shh...don't kill the mood!”  
Calle was confused and a bit uncomfortable. This was certainly not what he'd had in mind when he initiated this rare friendly hug. But he couldn't deny that it felt nice.  
The kisses turned to soft sucking on his tender skin and Calle couldn't help but let his hands wander up to rest on Bård's shoulders, leaning his head back to give him better access.  
“That's better.”  
Bård smiled when he felt his friend push him away a bit, just to pull him in for a proper kiss.  
They may have lost themselves in the moment for a while, lips locked and tongues carefully meeting as they held on to each other. They were still standing right beside the entrance to the bar, so it shouldn't have been a surprise when a group of people burst through the door to get some fresh air as well.  
They parted quickly and managed to look like nothing had happened before anyone noticed what was going on.  
Calle couldn't help but laugh heartily at Bård's face as he stood there looking like a lost puppy, not quite knowing what to do with himself now.  
“Come on, whiny guy. Let's go back inside”

  
Calle grabbed his hand and pulled him along as he went back to their little table that had already been occupied by Magnus and some other people they didn't recognize.  
They evening went on and they didn't bring it up again. They mutually decided without exchanging so much as a glance to let it slip and not mention it again in the future.  
They stayed a while longer, had some more shots against their better judgement and when everybody got up to leave, they joined the group on their way outside.  
Laughter filled the night air as the bunch of drunk people made their way to the next taxi stop and parted ways to get on their way home.  
Calle and Bård hugged quickly and bid each other goodnight.

 

* * *

 

Calle woke up with a pounding in his head and the taste of something long dead in his mouth.

He laid his arms over his eyes to block out the light that attacked his vision and groaned in pain.

Every move seemed to be in slow motion and when he finally managed to get up from the bed, the first thing he did was grab an aspirin and a glass of water and down it in large gulps.  
He rubbed his face gently, careful not to move his head too much to avoid the uncomfortable spinning.  
His feet made a dull sound on the floor as he padded over to the bathroom. He splashed some water onto his face and washed his hands to get the stench of old nicotine off of his fingers. He looked in the mirror and grimaced as he examined the dark circles under his eyes.

His gaze caught on to something on his neck and he couldn't keep in the surprised laugh that came out when he realised the left side of his neck was covered in purple bruises.

Hickeys. _What the_... _?_

He groaned and closed his eyes when he remembered the little hugging session he'd had with Bård the night before.  
He poked the irritated skin and took in the extent of them while he brushed his teeth.  
Damn, Bård had been quick. There were so many and they seemed to be melting into one big mass of love bites so he couldn't even count the exact number.  
  
Calle took a quick shower and made himself some light breakfast before grabbing his phone and taking a picture of his neck situation.

He didn't know whether to be amused by this or to be too embarrassed to ever show up at work again. Yet he still grinned when he hit send.

 

* * *

 

Bård looked at his phone as if it was the devil incarnate. How dare this thing wake him up from his hangover nap?

He glanced at the screen and felt all the blood drain from his face.  
His fingers swiped across the screen and his eyes grew large when he looked at the imagine he was presented with.

\- We're never drinking Tequila again. C. -

 


	2. Casa Dragones

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised a certain someone I would write a second chapter, so here you go. Finally!  
> (Now I can cross this off my list. Hooray!)

The bottle made a high clirring sound when it tipped to the side and fell onto some of the abandoned glasses that were scattered all over the couch table.  
There were grains of salt spilled everywhere and the wooden surface was sticky with the leftovers of various drinks and some slices of lemon here and there.  
The entire living room was a mess, curtains pulled aside and door to the balcony permanently opened to allow some fresh night air to come inside and cool down the flushed cheeks of the people inside. Which were only two.  
The blonde haired men sat side by side on the old, comfortable couch, facing each other.   
One of them was casually sprawled across half of the surface, leaning his body backwards a bit against the mass of cushions he had wedged behind his back. His right hand fumbled with a pack of cigarettes that he had just pulled out from behind a pillow. He patted his thigh to find a lighter in his front pocket and stood up, taking a moment to find his balance.  
“I need a smoke. You coming?” Calle looked down to find Bård's eyes closed, head leaned back slightly so his hair fell down in unruly strands. The older man couldn't help but let his gaze wander over his friend's relaxed features for a moment before poking him on the arm.

“Hey, sleepyhead. Do you want a cigarette or not?”

Bård grumbled a bit as he opened his eyes, but he nodded and held out his hand to take the offered item.  
He got up and they headed out onto the balcony in silence, Calle passing over the lighter as soon as the red gleam lit up close to his mouth.  
He watched Bård fumble with it for a moment. The younger one seemed to have some trouble to make movements coordinated enough to work the lighter properly.   
Then again, he didn't have much practice with it, except for using it as a bottle opener. And even then he somehow managed to break off part of the plastic or hit himself in the face with it occasionally.  
Calle chuckled and held onto his cigarette with his lips while he grabbed hold of Bård's hands and spread his fingers so he could take the lighter to produce a little flame, one of his palms working as a shield to protect it from any wind that might threaten the fire.  
Bård moved forward a bit to take the opportunity of the flame that Calle held in his hands and sucked in a breath, inhaling the bitter smoke with a grimace on his face.  
Calle laughed. “I don't know why you still smoke every time you get drunk if you don't like it.”  
Bård frowned and made a dismissive gesture while he took another drag, this time without letting his dislike for the taste show on his face.  
They walked forward and leaned onto the wooden railing in an almost synchronized move.

“I don't know either.” Bård answered after a few minutes. He chuckled and looked at Calle from the side, taking in the way his fingers loosely held onto the cigarette and how his newly cut hair moved a bit as the light breeze played with it.   
His gaze dropped to his friend's neck. The bruises were gone now. There was no evidence left of their last drunken encounter, and Bård didn't know whether to be glad that this awkward phase had finally passed or to be sad that there was no visual reminder on the skin that he swore he could still recall tasting on his tongue whenever he thought back.  
“See something you like?” Bård looked up, startled at the voice that interrupted his drifting thoughts. Calle had turned his head and was watching him intently, one of the corners of his mouth quirked up in a smirk.  
“I..um..no, I just..” Calle laughed out loud and let his arm fall over Bård's shoulder, patting his back a bit.

“Relax! Why so tense?”  
Calle got serious again as soon as he realized that Bård was still a bit uncomfortable, not capable of finding the right words. He took a drag and slowly exhaled the soft smoke, keeping his eyes firmly on the other's features.  
The blonde man grinned and stubbed out his cigarette. He took the bud that was still wedged between Bård's index and middle finger and put it out as well, throwing both of them into the little ashtray on the floor.  
“Have I finally managed to make you speechless? Was it my sass or my stunning beauty?”  
Bård opened his mouth to answer, preferably something that would wipe the smug look off of his friend's face, but he came up blank.  
“Oh come on, you look like I just suggested we reenact the last scene from Dirty Dancing.”  
Bård laughed and shook his head. “No, I just..I don't know man, it's just weird. This whole thing..”, he waved his hand back and forth between himself and Calle.  
“This _whole thing_?”  
“Yeah, I mean.. _this!”_  
“Bård, stop!”  
The older man let out a laugh as he grabbed the hand that was again gesturing uncertainly in the air in front of him, wrapping his fingers around the wrist and pulling it down to minimize the risk of anyone getting slapped in the face by accident.  
Calle stepped closer, all the while holding his gaze, a smile still playing softly around his eyes. His arms wrapped around Bård's shoulders, forcing him into a stiff embrace. Calle ignored the tension in the other's body stubbornly, squeezing him a bit and laying his chin down on his shoulder.  
“Now is _this_ so bad?”, he'd ask quietly.  
The caramel strands of hair grazed his left cheek as the other shook his head the tiniest bit.  
“No.” Bård let out a sigh and with the excess air, the tension left his body as well. His let his arms slide around the man that was already hugging him tightly and buried his face against his neck, just like he had done the last time.  
“Actually, I kinda like it a lot.” Calle grinned to himself as he hummed softly in agreement.  
Bård let go of him and straightened up, a deep breath filling his lungs before he mustered up the courage to finally meet the blue eyes that had tried to meet his for so long now.

There was a second in which too many things seemed to happen at once. Bård's hands slipped up Calle's shoulders and held onto the back of his neck. Startled eyes widened for a moment when he realized just how close Bård's face had suddenly come. He could feel the younger man's breath on his skin and then there were soft lips pressing against his own. It took Calle a moment to fully understand what was happening, but after the realization had sunken in, he made sure to press back against the other man. Calle's hands travelled over his back as Bård let his fingers slide through the soft, short hair. Bård sighed and gently let his tongue trace Calle's bottom lip, silently asking for him to let him in. The older man happily complied and parted his lips, sighing into the other's mouth before closing the milimeter of space between their skin to deepen the second real kiss they ever shared.  
  
They stayed like this for quite a while, standing close with their bodies pressed flush against each other, hands moving up and down in slow motion. All this time their mouths didn't part once, they kept up the gentle kisses, carefully caressing and exploring with shy tongues and curious lips.  
In the end it was Bård who pulled back first. A sheen of saliva painted his smile, barely visible in the glimmering light of the street lamp a bit further away. His hands were still placed on Calle's neck, his fingertips stroking his skin.

“Okay then.” Calle offered. They both knew they had to say it out loud sooner or later, define what they wanted to be, but they both thought that this wasn't the time. They wanted to keep this as simple and as nonverbal as possible, and so far it seemed to work out pretty well for them. Granted, they were only in the very first tentative stage of whatever this would become, but when Calle locked his gaze with Bård and smiled brightly, Bård was sure they would be doing just fine.  
Another short kiss was shared between them, before Calle took his hand and pulled him along inside the living room again.  
He closed the door behind him carefully, and they sat down back down on the couch. Calle was quick to find his previous position, whereas Bård sat awkwardly on the other end of the sofa, shifting about every few seconds in an attempt to get comfortable.  
Calle lost his patience and gestured for Bård to come closer to him. With a gentle grin he invited him to snuggle against his own body. Bård scooted over and let himself be enveloped by the warmth and comfort that Calle's arms provided. Bård folded his legs underneath him and leaned his head down on the older man's chest. He sighed and let his fingers dance over the back of Calle's hand.  
“I kinda like this, too.” Bård laughed quietly at Calle's words and relaxed further against the man next to him.  
  
If they spent a small eternity snuggled up like this, they wouldn't force themselves to analyze it. If they forgot to turn off the tv running in the background and ended up falling asleep on that couch with their legs tangled and their chests pressed together, lying so close they could see every line and freckle on each other's face, they would enjoy every second of it. And if they started the next day with smiles and soft kisses, they'd do so with a light honesty in their eyes.

 


	3. Dos Lunas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know why I'm continuing this. I think my brain got a bit stuck in this story. Sorry! :D

There was something tickling his face. Calle scrunched his nose, eyes still closed and refusing to face this irritating thing that forced him to leave the realm of sleep.  
The sensation moved from his temple down over his cheek, tracing a slow way over his bottom lip.

“Hey.”  
Calle cracked one eye open. Bard was lying there, still on his side, right in front of him. His caramel hair was as messy as it could get, there was a slight imprint of the sofa's fabric pattern on the left side of his face and his eyes looked like they didn't want to be functioning yet.  
Still he smiled when Calle met his gaze, now both eyes fully open.

“Hey.”, Calle answered. He was a bit unsure as to what the procedure was for a situation like this one.  
“Did I wake you up?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Sorry.”  
“Don't be.”

They were silent for a moment, doing nothing but letting their eyes run over the other's sleep-marked features.  
Calle raised his hand to push a strad of hair behind Bard'd ear.  
He chuckled quietly. “I forgot how weird your ears look.”  
Bard laughed and nodded. “Yep. Gnome ears. At least that's what the kids in school used to say.”

Calle frowned and let his thumb caress the arch of Bard's ear before pulling his hand back. “Well that's not nice. I didn't mean bad weird, I just meant different weird.”  
Bard grinned in this crooked way that made Calle's stomach flutter a bit. _He's so pretty when he smiles._  
“Relax. I didn't take it as an insult. I have lived with my ears all my life, I'm used to them.”  
His hand found Calle's, lacing their fingers together while he snuggled closer in this restricted space that the sofa provided.  
“I'm glad you're still here.”  
Calle's voice was quiet and calm when he whispered into Bard's hair. The younger man was confused, but kept smiling anyway. He couldn't help it, the smile seemed to be constantly on his face now and to be honest, his facial muscles got a bit tired by now.  
“Did you think I'd run away in the middle of the night?”  
“I feared you would.”  
“Don't be ridiculous.”  
“I'm not being ridiculous, I just meant that I would've understo-mmphh”  
  
Calle's explanation was cut short when the other man's lips suddenly, and without any warning, pressed against his own. He wanted to pull back to at least finish his sentence, but the hand at the back of his head didn't allow it. The resistance was short-lived, however, when Bard's soft tongue caressed his lips and asked for entry in this shy and careful way that had Calle sigh into the other's mouth when he did part his lips for him.  
Bard kept going happily, eyes closed and one hand still buried in Calle's blond hair.  
When their tongues met, Calle felt like falling. His mind whirled, and the only thing that kept him grounded was Bard's skin against his own.  
Their lips didn't part, their breath turned heavier with every passing second and just when Bard dared to let his hand slide under the other man's shirt, Calle pulled away with a low grumble.  
  
They stayed there, face to face, both panting a bit while they tried to assess the situation.  
Calle grinned, but shook his head. “Not now.”  
Bard didn't look convinced. “Why not? I don't have anywhere else to be.” He looked at Calle with pleading eyes, a convincing grin firmly put in place while the hand that had been pushed off by Calle started to slide over the older man' shoulder and down his arm until it reached his hand that was resting on Bard's waist.  
“Not yet, is what I meant.” Calle replied, and Bard looked even less happy about this explanation.  
Calle laughed. “I know, but I think it'd be too fast.”  
  
The younger man raised an eyebrow and grabbed Calle's hand a bit tighter.   
“But I want to.”, he said as he pulled the other man's hand along with his own, placing his hand right on his crotch. Calle could feel that Bard was hard already, and he could hear the sharp gasp that left his lips when his palm pressed against the fabric of his jeans just a tad more.   
He couldn't stop himself from rubbing the bulge for a few moments, drinking in the sight in front of him. Bård had a hard time keeping his eyes open and focused on the older man, his chest was moving faster than just a few seconds ago as his breathing sped up in time with the movements of this deliciously firm hand on his cock.   
Calle leaned forward and helped Bård drown in these feeling a bit more by laying his own lips down against the other's, sliding his tongue inside the Bård's mouth to explore and caress in a gentle manner. Bård's legs parted a bit further to give Calle better acces, and it was one little unfamiliar twist of his wrist that had the younger man let out a quiet moan against his partner's mouth.  
  
Calle stopped his actions, surprised by how quickly he had gotten carried away and how far he had allowed himself to go just now. He hadn't wanted to touch Bård. Not like this, not yet.  
He pulled away and turned to lie on his back. Bård licked his lips and looked at him, stunned by the sudden stop Calle had put to this. “Why did you stop?”  
“I told you, it's too soon.”  
“Yes, and I said I don't care. I want to.”  
Calle turned to look at the other man. His eyes were wide and looked darker than usual. Maybe it was the lighting, maybe it was the lingering feeling of lust that still passed through his body. He looked annoyed, his eyebrows furrowed a little and a streak of tension around his lips.  
Calle smiled and cupped his cheek, pressing a soft kiss on his lips to chase away the frown.  
“What about me, though? Maybe I'm not ready yet.”  
Bård stared at him, honestly dumbfounded and at a loss for words. He hadn't really expected this, so the only thing that he could think of was a simple “Oh.”  
“Yeah. Oh.”  
“But, I mean. You..and I..We...don't you like me?” Bård didn't look him in the eye. Not this time.  
“Don't be ridiculous. I wouldn't have made out with you like that if I didn't like you. I just want to wait a bit before we do anything else. I don't think we have to rush it.”  
Calle carefully inched closer to Bård and let his arm slip over his waist to embrace him.

“I do like you. And just for the record, you weren't the only one getting excited. But please don't make me rush this.”  
Bård looked up and Calle could see that he didn't quite get it. But he seemed to accept what he had said, so that should be okay for now.  
They refused to move from the sofa for the next half hour, and so they stayed curled up against each other just a little while longer, until everyday responsibilities would come back to them and force them to participate in daily life, same as it had always been.  
But for now, this couch was their haven, their little bubble of comfort that they could stay in for a bit longer.  
Bård slowly moved his head to bury his face against Calle's neck, breathing in a slow pace. The low murmur that left his lips after a while was a surprise.  
“Why, though?”  
Calle had started to run his fingers over the other's back in random patterns, and he stared up at the ceilling with a smile before answering.  
“Because this is too important to me.”

 


	4. Familiar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know anymore. This wasn't even supposed to be a chapter for this thing here. But oh well, here you go. Have some random scene that doesn't make sense. :)

Calle let his finger trace the edge of the smooth white paper sheet as he studied the black words that formed the newest addition to their script for next week’s episode of IKMY.  
He chuckled at some of the lines that were written down as suggestions for his part. He had to admit that they were good.   
Maybe he’d even stick with them this time. Who knew.  
He never decided beforehand whether he was going to improvise or not. Certainly there were things that had to be scripted, especially when you were producing a Live Show, but he always made sure to keep some of his beloved artistic freedom for his little acts.  
So far, the entire team had been happy with what he had come up with. Sometimes he even managed to surprise himself with the words that left his mouth at times, but as long as he made sure to keep it somewhat family friendly, he was fine.  
Calle sighed and put down the script in order to reach for the full pack of cigarettes next to his monitor.   
The seal was still on and the paper lid had never been opened. Calle smiled fondly at the label and remembered for a split second the taste of bitter smoke in his mouth and the rush of nicotine in his body. Sometimes he almost regretted giving up smoking.   
Then again, the pros outweighed the cons by far, he thought as his office door burst open and Bård stepped inside. He grinned widely at Calle and turned around to close the door quietly behind him.  
Calle took his feet off of his desk and turned his fancy new chair around to face the younger Ylvisåker with a matching grin on his face.  
“What?”, the blond man asked as the younger one flopped down in the visitors chair without a word.  
“I’m bored.”  
“I wish I could say ‘I know, we've met’, but that joke is way too old to be good still.”  
“Haha, Mr. Funny Man.”  
Calle stretched his arms above his head, cracking the joints in his shoulders and back to relieve some pressure. He was getting old.  
“Seriously, is there something in particular you wanted or are you just being your distracting self?”  
Bård smiled and stood up. He pointed at Calle.  
“You are wearing glasses.”  
“You are so smart sometimes. I can’t believe the genius that is standing in front of me. Behold the beauty of thy brain.”  
“Shut up.”  
“You shut up.”  
Calle grinned. Bård grinned back.  
“They look good. I like them. Very hipster chic.”  
“Well if you say so. I didn’t know you were such a fashionista. Are you running a blog I don’t know about?”  
Bård laughed and stepped closer to peer at Calle’s face. The blond man leaned back in his chair a bit, since Bård had moved so quickly it had caught him by surprise a bit.  
Before he could protest, Bård had grabbed his sleek black glasses and walked towards the door where he tried to look at his own reflection in the milk glass while he put on the stolen item.  
“Hm.”  
Calle rolled his eyes a bit at Bård’s antics, but stayed put in his office chair. He only moved to put his feet back up on the desk, resting his right foot on his left ankle.  
Bård twirled around, gesturing towards his face with both hands, fingers delicately positioned to imitate the grace of a female model. It didn’t really work for him.  
“How do I look?”  
“I don’t know. You’re kind of blurry. You took my glasses, you know.”, Calle lied. He could see pretty well without them and didn’t really need them in everyday life. They just made reading a lot easier for him nowadays.  
Bård however, stepped closer and leaned forward a bit, resting his hands on his bent knees.  
“How about now? Do you see me know? How many fingers am I holding up?”  
He held up one hand and switched between 2, 3 and 4 fingers as rapidly as he could.  
Calle made sure to squint his eyes, acting as if he couldn’t really focus on Bård’s face.  
“I think it’s alright. But you’re still a bit too far away to be sure, you know. And put away that hand, you might accidentally poke your own eye out.”  
Bård smiled and moved forward again.  
Calle motioned for him to come closer still, acting concentrated on the task of judging how well the glasses looked on Bård’s face. He put his legs down again and leaned forward a bit, closing some of the distance himself.  
“Closer.”  
“You must be getting really old, huh? You’re practically blind.”, Bård muttered as he lifted one leg over Calle’s and straddled the older man in his chair.  
Without a hint of distress he sat down and let his arms rest on Calle’s shoulders.  
“How about now? Close enough for you?”  
Calle pressed his lips together and tilted his head slightly to the side, squinting at the man in front of him. “Hmm…nope. My sight really isn’t what it used to be.”  
Bård smiled softly as he let his hand lay against the nape of the other man’s neck to lead him towards himself with a slow gesture.  
“Okay then. Is this better?”  
Calle couldn’t help but giggle when the tips of their noses collided briefly due to Bård readjusting himself in his lap.  
They were so close now that he felt like he had to look at Bård’s face cross eyed in order to get a clear image of him.  
“Yeah. That’s better.”  
“And?”  
“And what?”  
“The glasses! How do they look?”  
“Ohh, right. That’s what you asked me.”  
Bård hit Calle on the chest. “Idiot.”  
“Jerk.”  
“Dumbass.”  
“Thief.”  
“Old man.”  
Calle sighed and laid his hand over his own heart, as if the words had insulted him to the core.  
“Aw, did that hit too close to home?”  
Calle smiled at Bård and wrapped his arms around the younger man.  
“Maybe. But I can deal with that. I can deal with you. I’ve had some years of training, you know.”  
“You talk too much.”  
There was this shared grin again, spreading wide over their faces.  
“I know.”  
With that, Calle pulled Bård closer by the collar of his sweater and claimed his lips with his own, making sure not to let him move away again too quickly. Not before he had traced his bottom lip with his tongue and opened his own mouth to invite him in for a proper make out session.  
Bård seemed to have other ideas, however, as he pulled away from Calle after another quick peck on the lips.  
“Later.”  
He stood up and took off the glasses to lay them down on the white surface beside them.  
Bård’s hand reached out to let his fingers run through Calle’s hair in a smooth, familiar motion, before he walked towards the office door and left the room after waving shortly at the blond man that was still sitting there, a bit stunned at this sudden turn of events.  
After a few short moments, Calle smiled fondly and took his glasses, placing them on his nose again to return to his original task for today.


	5. News for him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He should have learned to knock by now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hooray, another chapter of this unplanned thing that was never supposed to happen. I actually made a plot-ish plan for this. What is wrong with me?!

 

Vegard thought it was weird. Incredibly, unmistakeably weird. He had known something was going on for a while now, but when he caught his little brother and his best friend making out in the storage room of their office, he couldn’t deny the surprised yelp that left his lips in a shrill tone.  
“Oh for fucks sake people! What is going on here?!”   
Calle tried his best to breathe in a regular pattern instead of the heavy panting of someone who had just been in a situation that made breathing a little difficult. His fingers fumbled with the blond strands of hair that were sticking in all directions due to Bård’s efforts.   
Said man did not have the decency to at least look like he was sorry about the fact that Vegard had caught them like this. He raised one eyebrow.

“What?”  
Vegard opened his mouth to speak, but closed it quickly after realizing he didn’t really know what to say. Instead, he gestured vaguely back and forth between Bård and Calle, muttering an incohorent jumble of words and then turned on his heel to walk back to his own office. Calle could hear the steps moving away for a moment, but then Vegard seemed to have pulled himself together and came back.

It turned out that he had only come back to carefully close the door again, but not without shooting a confused look at his best friend.  
Calle laughed and looked at Bård expectantly. “I think you broke him.”   
“Me? I wasn’t the one breathing like I had just choked you for a minute straight.”   
“Well I’m sorry if it’s difficult to get enough oxygen when you’re shoving your tongue down my throat!”   
“Oh so now you don’t like having my tongue in your mouth? Is what you’re saying?”   
Calle laughed at Bård’s comically aghast facial expression and moved to shove him against the grey wall of the storage room.   
“Nah. I like it. Quite a lot, actually.”   
Bård grinned, and _fuck_ if Calle had ever seen a sleazy grin then this was it. He could almost hear Bård’s thoughts heading right to the gutter.   
“Don’t!”   
Bård laughed. “Don’t what?! I didn’t do anything.”   
“You just looked at me as if you were planning my death by blowjob.”   
“Maybe? So what?”   
“We’re at work! And I told you to stop tempting me.”   
Bård’s grin softened into a gentle smile and he reached up to cup Calle’s cheek, stroking his thumb across it and smoothing a stray hair away from his eye.   
He moved in to press his lips against Calle’s, who eagerly pushed back

Moments passed and they forgot where they were again, every little touch and shift of skin erasing a little piece of the perception that hey had left of their surroundings.

Calle made sure his hands stayed above Bård’s waistline, while the other seemed to be set on reaching as much naked skin as possible. He let his hand slide down and up under Calle’s shirt, making the worn cotton fabric bunch up over his wrist.

His fingers splayed wide over the other’s stomach and he pulled away to look down at his own hand on Calle’s body. It still made him feel lightheaded when he thought about them this way.  
He smiled, and let out a weird laughing sound while he observed the soft rubbing motion his thumb had taken up almost on its own accord.   
Calle grabbed onto Bård’s wrist and lifted it to his mouth, laying a kiss on each knuckle and forcing him to look him in the eyes.

“And what if I don’t want to stop?” Bård let his other hand slide down and back to slide over Calle’s hip bone and onto his butt while he lifted his gaze to smile at the man standing so close to him.   
“I told you. I don’t feel comfortable with it yet.” Calle shrugged and stepped back a little to allow more space to seperate them from each other. Bård’s hand fell off his hip and he quickly moved it up to rest on Calle’s shoulder.   
“Hey. That’s okay. Can I get another kiss though?”, he asked. He made sure to put on his best innocent face and made smooching noises with his lips while moving in towards Calle.   
The other man made a horrified face and turned away with his arms stretched out in front of him, acting like running away in slow motion.   
Bård grabbed him by the collar and yanked him back so the older man got pulled with his back against the other’s chest. Bård was quick to wrap his arms securely around the body in front of him, his fingers holding on to his own wrists to have a safe grip that would prevent Calle from breaking his hold on him.   
Calle laughed, but leaned his head back and looked sideways at Bård’s face as best as he could.   
“You’re clingy, aren’t you?”   
“You only figured that out now?” Bård asked and started laying kisses all over the parts of Calle’s face that he could reach.   
“Buergh! Stop that!”   
“No.” Bård grinned, but loosened his hold so Calle could turn around to face him.   
The older man let his hands sneak behind Bård’s neck and leaned closer, about to kiss him absolutely breathless.

  
Just then, a knock on the door prevented him from going on with his planned actions and he let his head bump against Bård’s shoulder instead to whine quietly into the worn out shirt.   
“Yes?” Bård asked loudly to whoever was standing behind the closed door.  
The laughter was clear in his shaky voice. Calle gently laid his fingers around his neck and shook his head to tell him to cut it out while he stepped away from him a little.  
“Um..I’m sorry, I didn’t want to..interrupt you? At whatever it is you’re doing...not that I want to know. Please don’t tell me, I really don’t-”  
“Vegard, shut up. What do you want?” Bård asked after he recognized his brother’s voice on the other side of the door. He still had to hold in the giggles.  
“I kind of need Calle to go over a contract with me? If you can spare a few minutes? He was in charge of the location planning, so he knows more than me. I could try to do it without him, but it would be so much more secure if maybe -”  
“Vegard, I said shut up!” Bård said as he walked over and pulled the door open to reveal his brother standing in the hallway, walking up and down while fumbling with his right hoodie string.  
He came to a halt when Calle was being shoved in his direction.  
“Here, have him.”  
Calle turned to look at Bård with a raised eyebrow, but kept walking into the direction of Vegard’s office without further protesting.  
The older Ylvisåker faced his brother and quickly made a pointy motion between Calle and him and then one towards his own two eyes.  
Bård smiled and nodded, mouthing a silent “I know” to him before turning around and heading to the kitchen area to get something to drink.  
He smiled at the relief of knowing his brother seemed to be almost okay with it, at least for now. Bård didn’t know exactly why it was so important, they were all grown men after all, but it still was, for some reason unknown to him.   
_Maybe this hadn’t been the best way of informing Vegard but it could have gone a lot worse_ , Bård thought and walked back to his own office, bottle of soda in hand. **  
**


	6. Saving a smile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They both know, but who dares to say it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for taking so long to write this and for only coming up with such a boring thing as a chapter. I'm getting back into writing and I barely have time and motivation right now. But I have an idea for the next one, so it should be ready pretty soon. Again, apologies!!

There were lights somewhere in front of them, Calle could see that much. They were blurry and moving slowly from left to right, so the car must have been crossing the road cautiously, but that was just about all he could tell by the sight he had in that moment. The never ending curtain of water that was flowing down over the windshield of his car prevented him from any further analysis about their whereabouts and surroundings.  
He knew he had taken a wrong turn somewhere about 15 minutes ago and they had somehow ended up on a tiny little road in the middle of nowhere. Calle hadn’t even known it was possible to get off of normal city roads that quickly.  
He tapped his fingers against the gearshift lightly, peering at his window as if he could read the signs that he assumed to be somewhere to his left.  
“We are lost.”  
Calle pressed his lips together and let air fill his cheeks before speaking. “You don’t say, Captain Obvious.”  
“I told you we should’ve gone the other way.”  
Calle rolled his eyes and his fingers tapped a little faster against the black plastic.  
“I know, Bård. Do you want me to go to my knees now to worship your almighty knowledge?”  
Bård huffed and turned to look out of the window. Well, he would have, if he could actually see anything outside.  
“I’m sorry. I fucked up.”  
Bård nodded slightly at Calle’s words, but didn’t say anything else.  
“Do you know where to go?”  
A short headshake told Calle that he did not know, and because Bård’s phone was still safely somewhere in his Concorde office and his own was down to about 3 percent of battery life, they din’t have the option of using GPS to find their way back.  
Calle was a bit annoyed at himself that after so many years in this town, he could still get lost here. Especially in weather like this.  
The wind shook the little car from left to right and let the rain fall heavily against its sides, trapping the two men inside the vehicle with the heating running almost on max.  
“Okay I’ll just choose, then. I say we go left. Any other ideas?”  
Another headshake.  
Calle sighed and stepped onto the gas pedal, squinting his eyes to see through the heavy rain and ignoring the hectically moving windscreen wipers that were trying to remove the flood from the glass.  
The car moved slowly along the wet asphalt and soon the solid ground turned into gravel and mud and before they knew it, they were surrounded by trees and even more darkness than before.  
Bård looked at him pointedly and Calle let his head fall back and raised his hand to stop any critique that might be directed towards him.  
“Don’t. You don’t get to say anything. I asked you and you didn’t want to participate in a democratic voting, so you have no right to complain now. I’ll just turn around and go back.”  
Bård grinned and nodded at that, making a zipping motion in front of his mouth.  
Calle forced the car in reverse and backed up to a spot where the road seemed to be suitable for a turn. He turned the steering wheel and let his foot weigh down on the gas. And felt the tires lose their grip. The car didn’t move an inch.  
Calle whined at the rev counter and put in the second gear. Sometimes this did the trick. But no, not this time. It seemed that they were stuck in a puddle of mud, on some dead end road in the middle of fucking nowhere with no sign of civilization anywhere around. And that about 20 minutes from his cozy little home that he longed for right now.  
“We don’t move.”  
“Bård, you need to stop stating the obvious.”  
“Why?”  
“Because if you don’t they will find your body tomorrow, beaten up and tied against a tree.”  
“Kinky.”  
“Bård.”  
“Sorry. But seriously. We’re stuck.”  
“I know!”  
“We should do something.”  
“No shit.”  
Calle slapped the steering wheel with a little more force than intended and looked at Bård.  
“Get out.”  
“What? No!”  
“You have to push.”  
Bård looked appalled at the thought and crossed his arms over the seatbelt.  
“No way. You brought us here, you go out there and push and get wet to your bones.”  
“Bård. You can’t even drive. I will not let you operate my car.”  
“I have a license!”  
“That doesn’t mean you can drive. Now get out.”  
“No.”  
Calle waited for Bård to give in, and when he realized that he wouldn’t, he grabbed the keys and turned them around, putting the motor to sleep, and all electronics with it.  
“Then we’ll sleep here, I guess.”  
Bård groaned and let a hand run through his hair.  
“Calleeee! Why do you do this to me?!”  
“Because I’m not the one who wanted to go for an easy night drive during a storm. Easy, my ass! We are stuck in this godforsaken place because of your stupid demands, so if you don’t get out of this car soon to push this car out of this damned muddy place, I will do something to you and everyone you love.”  
Bård winced at Calle’s threatening expression, but let his hand wander to the door.  
“Jeez, Calle, get your eyebrows back to normal. I’ll push.”  
The door made a loud sound as he slammed it shut after getting out of the car. Calle pushed the buttons to lower the windows and put the car into first gear while Bård jammed some loose sticks and branches as far under the tires as he could. If you learned anything from living in a rainy country, it was how to free your car from its muddy prison.  
“Okay! Go!” Bård yelled from the back, already leaning against the trunk of the car with his weight, feet carefully placed against some stones that were in the mud.  
Calle pushed his foot down and let the clutch pedal come up, making the tires move in search for grip.  
Unfortunately, it took a moment for the branches to get pulled under the tires and the only thing that happened was a notable amount of mud being catapulted up and right across Bård’s jacket clad chest.  
The younger man yelled and swore, but kept throwing his body against the car, turning his face upwards to the sky to prevent more sandy, wet dirt from getting into his face.  
After some desperate praying and swearing the tires finally found a surface to stick to and the car moved forwards slowly, making Bård send a heartfelt Hallelujah towards whatever spirit that might be watching.  
Calle couldn’t keep it in and burst out into loud laughter when Bård showed up at the passenger door with a frown on his face, mud smeared everywhere and clearly already wet from the rain. The only thing missing right now was a bolt of lightning to make his annoyed expression even more dramatic.  
With a quick grab Calle pulled his own jacket from the back and put it on the passenger seat to save his precious car from getting even dirtier. Bård huffed and whined as he let himself flop down into the seat, immediately noticing the warmth inside the car. He carefully took off his jacket and bundled it up with the muddy part inside so he wouldn’t get it everywhere. He knew how bitchy Calle could be about his car, and even though Bård didn’t really get it, he honestly was not in the mood to hear Calle make a fuss about how untidy he was.  
The man in the driver’s seat looked at the sour expression on Bård’s features and reached out to pat his head, before driving down the road back the way they came from.  
“Aww, poor baby Bård. Did you get a bit dirty while playing in the mud?”  
Bård sighed and turned towards him.  
“Calle. I just pushed your fucking car out of the fucking mud. How fucking dare you make fun of me now? Honestly, fuck you.”  
“That’s a lot of fucking in three sentences.”  
“Don’t get funny with me now.”  
Calle winced at being shot down that quickly and Bård turned away from him again, looking straight ahead, avoiding all eye contact.  
“Come on now, don’t be pissed at me. I’m sorry I said that. Are you cold? Should I turn the heating up?”  
Bård rubbed his fingers together. “Yeah, thanks.”  
Calle moved the arrow along the red line until the very end and reached out for Bård’s hand to lace his fingers between them, making them join the place on the gear shift. He rubbed his thumb across the cold damp skin and looked at the tachometer, before going just a little faster.  
He stopped a few times to peer at the street signs as best as he could, and he took a wrong turn again, but half an hour later they were back on the streets they knew, surrounded by light and houses and the familiar sound of city traffic. Even the rain slowed down and Calle was able to drive at a fairly normal speed again. They didn’t talk, but the silence was comfortable and Bård felt himself warm up a little, even though his wet clothes still made him feel a bit icky.  
He was glad when Calle pulled into the garage and parked the car, quickly grabbing all their important stuff and motioning for Bård to get out as well.  
Bård grabbed his arm before Calle could open his door, and smiled sweetly before pressing a soft kiss against his lips.  
Calle smiled back, even though he was a little confused. Who was he to complain about being kissed though?  
Bård stayed close, looking at every little freckle and line on Calle’s face.  
“What’s up?”  
Bård shook his head. “Nothing. I just kinda wanted to ask you something.”  
“Yeah? Go ahead.”  
“Do you…” Bård swallowed visibly, directing his eyes away from Calle’s.  
“Do I what?” Calle smiled. He knew Bård was getting tired of their stupid little routine, but he still didn’t want to take the next step.  
“Do you...want to order pizza? I am starving!” Bård said loudly, pulling back from Calle and putting a hand on his stomach for emphasis.  
Calle’s smile dropped just a little. You could have missed it, but Bård saw the corners of his mouth lose their upwards quirk _._  
I just should’ve said it. It’s time.  
“Yeah, but without those stupid fruit pieces on it this time. Fruit just doesn’t belong on pizza.”  
Hell, if Bård decided to chicken out now, he wouldn’t push it. It would’ve been nice to take a step forward, but Calle knew it was foreign territory for both of them.  
Bård nodded, leaned forward for another quick kiss and then got out of the car, slowly walking towards the building’s elevator door. He turned around to call out for Calle in the empty parking lot.  
“Come on, old man. Your boyfriend is hungry.”  
Calle almost choked on his own breath for a moment before getting it back under control. His smile reappeared on his face and he quickly followed the younger man out of the parking lot and into the elevator.


	7. Wait what

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just the rest of what happened before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said I'd be back sooner, so I am. I'm sorry for how slow this is, but I honestly still don't know what I'm doing here. Any suggestions are welcome. As always :)

„What did you just say? “, Calle asked as soon as the elevator doors had closed behind them.  
Bård looked at Calle, wide grin spreading and shoulders rising in a nonchalant shrug.  
“I said I’m hungry.”  
“No. I meant the other thing.”  
“That you’re old?”  
“No, the –oth- hey, I’m not that old!”  
Bård laughed at that and raised an eyebrow. “Yesterday you complained about how you needed to invest in a proper mattress because your back is ‘killing you’”  
He made quotation gestures with his hands.  
Calle frowned and let one hand press against his own lower back, feeling the stiff muscles where they had cramped up from that one night he had slept in some incredibly unhealthy position. He might as well have slept on a park bench, he thought.  
“A good mattress _is_ important. You of all people should know that, with your fucked up neck and all.”  
Calle looked at Bård pointedly to get his point across, before remembering that he himself was missing the exact point he had been trying to hit with his questions.  
“Stop distracting me! Did you just call yourself my boyfriend?!”  
  
Bård looked at his shoes before making eye contact and holding it, suddenly feeling a bit stubborn and too proud to back down. “So what if I did?”  
Calle kept a blank expression and shrugged. “I don’t know? It’s cool, I guess. I can deal with that.”  
Bård let out a bellowing laughter and hit Calle on the chest repeatedly with closed fists.  
“You _guess_ it’s _cool_?! You can _deal_ with it?! Fuck you, Calle!”  
Calle laughed as he tried to keep Bård’s hands away from him. “Hey, hey! What’s this now? Getting abusive at the beginning of this relationship?”  
“Pfffftt..shut up! You had it coming.”  
Calle made a vague sound that could’ve meant either Yes or No and put more of an effort into defending himself, quickly grabbing Bård’s wrists and holding them tight enough to keep him from pulling them away.  
He leaned closer, pushing himself to tower over the younger man and moved towards Bård’s ear, making him step into the elevator’s corner in the process.  
His lips were close enough for Bård to feel the warmth on his skin and his breath on the soft hair at the nape of his neck before he spoke.  
“Yeah, I think I could deal with you as my boyfriend. For quite a long time, actually.”  
The elevator had long stopped but they made no move to get out.  
Bård reached up to let his hand weigh down on Calle’s warm neck to stop him from stepping back.  
“Why do you always have to whisper this stuff?”, Bård whispered into the other’s ear and he could hear Calle’s chuckle at this question.  
Calle pulled back and looked Bård in the eyes, almost too close to see clearly.  
“Because saying it louder makes it more real.”, he said before kissing Bård without warning.  
Just a quick, hard kiss on the lips without the usual softness of their moments alone.  
Bård held onto him though and kept him close, leaning up to join their lips once more, softer this time and without any rush.  
  
They probably should get out of this elevator soon instead of selfishly blocking it, and that was the only thing that made Bård stop his actions and usher Calle out of the small space and towards his apartment. Well, that and the fact that he was cold and his clothes still wet and uncomfortable.  
With the door closed and both of them in the safety of Calle’s flat, Bård had his sweater and shirt pulled over his head and off before Calle could’ve said ‘Helvete’. Soon his shoes and pants were gone as well, carelessly flung onto the wooden designer table in front of the dark grey couch.  
Bård grabbed the soft woolen blanket that was placed decoratively over the armrest and wrapped himself in it before flopping down on the sofa with a content sigh.  
  
“Now, tea please?”, he grinned up at Calle, who in turn showed him just how well manicured his middle finger was today.  
Nonetheless, he walked into the kitchen and grabbed two mugs, putting the kettle on to boil some water.  
“Which one would Your Highness prefer this fine day?”  
“Something fruity please, Butler.”  
“And something fruity Your Highness, The Bratty Childish Idiot of Ylvisåker, shall have.”, Calle yelled from the kitchen in the shrillest tone he could muster.  
“Don’t burn yourself with the water. The pain might make you bitter and sarcastic.”, the man on the couch replied.   
He reached for the remote control and started zapping through the channels, laughing when he stumbled across an ad for this week’s episode of Brille.  
“My hobbit brother is on TV again. I wonder why people want to see him there. I’m much nicer to look at.”  
“But much harder to listen to.”, Calle said, leaning in the doorway to the living room and looking at Bård lounging in his space.  
“Should I set you up on a date? Then you can listen to him tell you aaaaall about how there’s a meaning to how you fold napkins for dinner or something like that.”  
Calle grinned at Bård’s annoyed tone of voice.  
“Nah, I’d rather hear you bitch about how your shoelaces are getting dirty during autumn. Even though it’s not much more interesting if you ask me…”  
“Talk to yourself then.”  
“Okay”, Calle nodded in agreement and turned around to pour the hot water into the two mugs.  
“So, you come here often? Yeah, I live here. You don’t say! What a coincidence! I live here too! Oh what a funny situation, I can’t believe we’ve never met. Yes, maybe we should grab dinner together sometime. Oh yes, what a maaarvellous idea!”  
“Calle stop! I’m getting scared!” Bård giggled as he shouted towards the man in the kitchen.  
“Oh my, seems like we have a visitor. What a surprise! And this late too!”  
  
Calle grabbed the mugs and moved back to the kitchen, placing one of the steaming cups in front of Bård on the table.  
“Yes, it is quite late for visitors. But my, he’s a pretty one. Do you want him, or can I make a pass at him? He might be taken but I might as well try…”  
Bård looked at Calle as if he had just grown a second head.  
“You’re completely insane, man. Are you sure you shouldn’t go see a psychiatrist sometime?”  
“Yep.” Calle grinned, showing two rows of perfect white teeth before taking a sip of his tea.  
  
“I’m not convinced.” Bård eyed him suspiciously, but smiled soon after, when Calle moved his hand to pull the other against himself to cuddle up on the comfortable couch.  
Bård started tracing Calle’s finger from the palm of his hand up to his fingertips and back again, turning it over to slide his index across the lines on the inner side of his wrist.  
“Are you really okay with it?”  
“Hm?” Calle had his nose buried in Bård’s hair by then, but still listened with his eyes closed.  
“The boyfriend thing.”  
Calle smiled and pressed his lips against Bård’s hair while pulling him closer with the arm that he had wrapped around the other man.  
“Yeah. More than okay.”  
Bård sighed and put his feet up on the couch table. He leaned back a little more and into the other’s warmth.  
“Good.”


	8. A snippet of Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Christmas, of course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A million times sorry to anyone who might still be reading this silly thing, because I promised to update sooner but I couldn't. I have had to deal with so much sh*t lately that I didn't find the time to write anything at all. Sorry, again. And to anyone who even reads this: Merry Christmas and I hope you're having an amazing wintery time.

„Bård, no“   
The blonde man whined and pulled a pillow out from under himself to throw it at the other, who was standing in front of him, arms crossed and not a single sign of compassion on his face.  
“Throwing things at me won’t help, you know.”  
“Maybe it’ll help if I throw solid things”, Bård mumbled to himself and pulled the blanket closer around his shoulders. He was cold. He was cold and miserable and his nose was stuffed and he couldn’t breathe. So if he asked his so-called boyfriend for one little favor, what was the big deal about helping him out here?  
“But Calle, why not?”  
“I already told you, I will not go out there in this…” , he waved his hand towards the window, “cold and wet city just to get Mr. Important a tree and carry it up all those stairs. I’m not getting any younger, you know?”  
“Then you could use the workout... ”  
“And you could use some fresh air, so why don’t you do it yourself. I don’t even want a Christmas tree. And I’ll be the one who has to clean everything afterwards anyway. Those IKEA ads aren’t true, you can’t just throw the tree out of your window and be done with it.”  
Bård pushed his bottom lip forward in a mighty pout and tried his best to plead for Calle to give up.  
“No.”  
Bård huffed and threw the blanket from his shoulders when he stood up. He marched into his bedroom and quickly pulled a thick sweater over his head before changing his sweat pants for jeans and pulling a beanie over his messy hair.  
“Fine, then. I will just go out and do it myself. It’s nice to know how important my Christmas is to you. If I had known this, I wouldn’t have agreed to stay here and not be with my family for the first time ever. Thanks for nothing.”  
Bård looked at Calle bitterly as he forced his feet into his boots and grabbed his jacket, wallet and keys in one quick move before heading for the front door.  
The older man knew that his partner was overreacting, but he also knew that arguing wouldn’t get them anywhere. This was a two-man-job anyway.  
“Bård, wait. I’ll come along. Just gimme a second.”  
Bård held up a hand to stop him from moving.  
“You know what, Calle? Screw you. I don’t want your help.”  
Calle opened his mouth, but was quick to shut it when Bård sent him a glare that was specifically designed to shut him up.  
The door slammed closed and Calle sighed. He sank down on the sofa and started picking his fingernails as he went through the entire conversation again in his head.  
But all thinking and pondering didn’t help, and all he could do was to get the tree decoration and lights out of his closet and put the tree stand in place in a corner of the room.  
He had already been waiting for over an hour when he decided to roam the kitchen cupboards for something sweet. There was nothing, except for some hot chocolate powder and so he put on the kettle and pulled out two mugs to have it ready in case Bård needed a warm drink. If he’d accept it.  
Just as the water boiled, the front door opened and a very wet and very red Bård came bursting through the door with a loud groan. Behind him, there was a tree. Calle couldn’t see much since it was wrapped in a plastic net to keep it contained during the way.  
Bård didn’t say a word as he pulled off his shoes and put his jacket on his hanger. Water was dripping down onto the floor, but Calle didn’t say a word. He stood behind the counter and waited.  
Bård sighed and looked up at him after mustering the decorations and tree stand next to the couch.   
“Calle. Would you please help me put it in the stand? My arms are dead.”  
“Sure.”  
The older man was quick to grab a knife and rushed to Bård’s side, helping him to put the tree in place before cutting the plastic threads that held the branches up and together.  
Calle looked the tree up and down and turned to Bård.  
“It’s not very tall, is it?”  
Bård growled and furrowed his brows at the comment. “Shut it. You don’t get to criticize my tree.”  
Calle laughed. “Did you just growl at me?”  
“Yes and if you ask me stupid stuff again I will throw tinsel at you.”  
Calle was relieved to see Bård crack a smile at the threat, even if it was a small one.  
“You look awful.”  
“Thanks.”  
“I mean it. Sit down and I’ll go make that hot chocolate I was about to have ready.”  
“That sounds heavenly, actually.” Bård smiled and let his fingers brush against Calle’s hand quickly.  
Calle hurried back to the kettle and poured the water into the mugs, stirring the contents and bringing them over to the couch where the other had sat down at lightning speed, losing his wet jeans in the process and already covered with the dark blue blanket that Calle had brought from the bedroom in wise forethought.  
“Here.”  
“Thank you.”  
Calle reached out to slide his fingertips through Bård’s damp hair and was surprised by him reaching up and biting his index finger lightly.  
Bård grinned at him. “You’re an asshole.”  
“I know. I’m sorry. I should’ve come to help.”  
“I didn’t want you to.”  
“I know. But still.”  
“Nah. It’s alright. But the decorating will have to wait. I don’t have the energy for proper Feng Shui placement of glittery things and wooden horses.”  
“We can do it later.”, offered Calle and Bård nodded in agreement.  
“Yeah..”, he said and yawned, “otherwise I might just end up putting a steak on the top instead of a star.”  
Calle laughed at that and turned on the TV to have some mindless chatter in the background.  
He wasn’t surprised to find Bård asleep about ten minutes later, his cup only half empty, and his mouth slack and open to release the softest snores he had ever heard.  
He would have smacked himself for that thought, if it weren’t so true.  
Boredom overwhelmed him soon, and he ended up picking up some red and gold Christmas ornaments and hanging them carefully on the tree.  
It really was small, barely 1,50m in height and kind of crooked at the top.  
But Calle couldn’t help but feel fond of it for being their first own Christmas tree, even though he always said he didn’t particularly enjoy this tradition.  
One ornament followed the next, and before long the entire tree was decorated and the fairy lights had been carefully draped over and across the branches and little twigs.  
It was in the middle of the process that Calle had discovered his mistake of hanging the ornaments first and forgetting about the lights, but he didn’t have much practice and he still managed to do quite a good job, he thought.  
Just as he was about to step back and admire his work, he heard a grumble from the couch behind him.  
“You decorated without me.”  
_Oh shit_ , Calle thought, _please don’t hate me_.  
“Yeah?”, he said and grimaced at the other man who was still blinking hard to make himself wake up properly.  
“I saved the top star for you though. And some ornaments that you brought from home. I thought you’d want to hang them. And I’m not sure about the lights, I might need some professional help from an expert.”  
Bård smiled.  
“It’s okay, Calle. It looks good already. But thanks for saving some for me.”  
Calle sighed, relieved when his fear wasn’t met, because frankly, he couldn’t take another argument over this stupid Christmas tree.  
Sitting up and stretching his arms up towards the ceiling, Bård yawned again and got up, grabbing the star and placing it on the top branch of the tree.  
He mustered it for a moment and watched it tilt to the side as soon as he let go.  
With more force he straightened it out, stepping away slowly while telling the star to “stay…!”  
It didn’t stay though, and after the 7 th attempt both of them gave up and accepted the star in its crooked position and Calle got the honorable task of plugging in the fairy lights.  
They stood side by side and watched their tree, both of them smiling at the messy decorations and a few unlucky lights that other people might have corrected, but neither of them would.  
It was perfect just like this, the small and imperfect tree with a crooked star and badly matching ornaments. Because it was theirs, because Bård had gotten it despite everything and because Calle had helped to decorate it.  
Their hands clasped together, Bård leaned his head on Calle’s shoulder.  
“Thank you for spending Christmas with me”, mumbled the older one into his hair.  
“It’s supposed to be spent with your loved ones, isn’t it?”  
Calle smiled squeezed Bård’s hand just a little tighter.  
“I guess it is.”


	9. It's about damn time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bård has been nothing if not patient, but sometimes things need a little push into the right direction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You had it coming people. You know it would have to happen at some point. And I'm sorry for not doing better. :')

The apartment was empty and the silence seemed loud in Bård’s ears, now that the music had been turned off after hours of constant bass lines making his body move along in the same rhythm.  
Calle was in the kitchen, washing some glasses and plates to get rid of the mess that the large group had made in the living room, or at least a little part of it.  
It certainly was fun to have a party at home, the downside being that you had to clean up afterwards. Calle sighed and rubbed the sponge a little harder against a stubborn bit on a plate.  
  
“Hey Bård? Can you come here and help me real quick? “, he called out to wherever his boyfriend was hiding at the moment. He didn’t expect to feel warm arms sneak around his middle and smooth fingers slide up and under his shirt in the process.  
“Mhh yeah? What can I help you with?”  
Calle closed his eyes at the touch and smiled softly at the seductive voice Bård tried to pull off. It almost worked. Maybe if he didn’t have his hands wrist deep in dirty water he would’ve given in and turned around.  
“Hands off. Grab a towel and dry the dishes, will you?” Calle grinned at Bård’s offended face.  
„Come on now, don’t be like that Mr. Grumpypants.”, he said and turned to peck Bård’s cheek, quickly returning to his task.  
“Kissing me like a scared little girl won’t help to convince me, you know…” the younger one mumbled against Calle’s shoulder.  
The other made a very noncommittal sound in the back of his throat and poured some more soap on the sponge before flicking a bit of foam at Bård.  
“Move! The faster we’re done here, the sooner we can go to sleep.”  
Bård wiggled his eyebrows at which Calle pointed at him with his index finger. “To sleep! I’m tired and I have to get rid of these circles under my eyes.”  
“You can’t, it’s almost like you were born with them. So why even bother trying.”  
Calle huffed. “Wow thanks, you’re so good at getting into my pants by giving me compliments.”  
He felt Bård’s fingertips grab onto the hem of his jeans, hooking onto them and caressing the soft skin he found underneath in the tiniest motion.  
“I don’t need compliments for that. I’m pretty enough.” the younger one smiled and reached up to press a kiss against Calle’s neck.  
  
He could smell his partner’s favorite shampoo and a faint trace of his aftershave that still lingered on his skin. The stubble began to come through already and he felt it against his mouth when he slid his lips along the sharp jawline that he knew so well by now. He didn’t stop when Calle turned around and put his wet hands on Bård’s chest. The dish water soaked his grey shirt and made him grimace at the wet and cold feeling spreading on his warm body.  
  
“Bård. I really want to finish this, and then sleep. So stop“– smooch- „doing“– smooch- “that!!”  
As soon as he had said the last word, Bård grabbed him by the collar and pulled him away from the sink, switched off the lights and forced Calle towards the bedroom with a matter of course that would have surprised the older man, hadn’t he been so irritated by the other’s behavior.  
“Bååård...“  
The man smiled sweetly and pulled his shirt over his head, throwing it into a corner. “Dry your hands and come to bed.”  
Calle looked up at the ceiling for a moment, asking any god that might exist for patience.  
He slipped off his own shirt and used it as a makeshift towel before getting rid of his pants as well and sliding under the covers of the big bed that called for him with its own siren song, trying to lure him to sleep as soon as he was lying down.  
Bård was quick to come closer and he didn’t waste time on being subtle. Instead, he moved so he was lying right on top of Calle, folding his arms on the other’s chest and resting his chin on his hands so he could look at the man under him.  
  
“Hey.” he said. The smile spread from his lips up to his cheeks and reached his eyes with a sparkle that reminded Calle of all the reasons why he loved him.  
“Hey”, replied Calle and lifted his arms to wrap them around Bård’s waist. His fingers spread wide over the smooth skin and he let his right hand move back and forth over the younger one’s back, up and down the little hollow in the middle of his back and over those dimples right above his butt.  
  
They had started to try more over the last few days and weeks. Bård had grown tired of Calle shying away from physical contact that didn’t involve a lot of clothes on both of their bodies.  
He had been patient and agreed on waiting as long as the older man deemed necessary, but he had reached a point where he didn’t think Calle would ever take that step if no one forced him a little, so he had demanded more cuddly times, with his hands on his hips and a pout on his face.  
Calle had laughed, shook his head, but that evening Bård had been allowed to undress Calle for the first time.  
They hadn’t done much expect sharing warmth and touch, but Bård felt like they had been closer than before, both figuratively and literally speaking, and he had been happy beyond compare. Because all he ever wanted was for Calle to be comfortable around him, and to be allowed to touch him without the fear of being rejected at any given time being pervasive.  
  
So when Bård dipped his head down to capture Calle’s lips, kissing him with just as much love as he saw every day in those blue eyes, he wasn’t afraid to be pushed away.  
Quite the opposite, as Calle tightened his grip and tangled their legs together while he smiled into the kiss.  
Bård reached for Calle’s hand with his, placing it on the pillow and lacing his own fingers between the other’s when he started to gently move on top of him.  
There was no hesitation this time, no signs or sounds of protests when Bård took the lead and touched him, caressed him, kissed every inch of skin he could reach.  
Calle hummed quietly, closed his eyes and let himself be loved by this beautiful man that had somehow sneaked his way into his life and mind and heart.


	10. A perfect match

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a quiet evening at home. Or at least Calle had hoped so.

Bård and Calle were on the couch. Even breathing seemed too much effort at this point and neither one was keen on moving even a single toe anymore.   
“I love Fridays.” Said Bård and felt the corner of his mouth twitch up in what could have become a smile, hadn’t he been so exhausted.   
“Hrrmmmhhh.” was Calle’s response. The tone of his grunting sound suggested that he agreed, but Bård couldn’t be sure. He would’ve asked, but that required more words leaving his mouth and he just couldn’t bother right now.  
Calle’s stomach let out a loud grumble instead and broke the silence with a clear sign of hunger. Calle whined and closed his eyes.  
Bård laughed a little and slipped his hand under the other’s shirt to caress the soft skin of the disturbingly loud stomach.   
“We should get up and make some food, huh?”  
“Hnnnghhhhh…”  
“Calle. You’re hungry. I’m hungry. Food.”  
“Order in?” Calle looked at Bård hopefully, trying to convince him with his eyes to call the pizza place and be done with it. It was Friday and they had worked way too much all week. They deserved a break from being adults.   
“No. We have so many groceries here that want to be cooked.”  
Calle groaned as loud as he could. Even Bård was still surprised sometimes how good the older man could be at complaining and letting his distress be known.   
“Yes yes, come on now. We can do this. Get up, old man.”  
Calle frowned. “I told you to stop calling me that. I’m not even 40 yet.”  
“Yet.” Bård grinned, sent a wink towards the couch and walked towards the kitchen, twirling once on his way to convince himself that he had the energy for this. Just some quick stuff, nothing fancy, he promised himself.   
  
“Okay, now what do we have?” he muttered to himself, looking into the fridge and tapping his fingers against the wooden counter while pondering the future meal.  
Calle quietly followed him and sat down on a chair, obviously not making an effort to help Bård with his task, even though the mere thought of food made his stomach clench in anticipation.  
“How about some Bruschetta? It’ll be quick at least. And there’s not much I can do to fuck it up.”  
Calle nodded. “Want me to help?”  
“Nah, I can do it.” A smile appeared on Bård’s lips again, and Calle almost fled the kitchen because he knew it wasn’t the soft lovey dovey nice smile, but the scary one that was always followed by some form of minor psychological torture.  
  
“You know, Calle…” Bård started, as he grabbed a knife to start chopping the tomatoes that he had gotten from the fridge.   
“Do I even want to know?” Calle looked at his boyfriend suspiciously, his eyes narrowing when he zoned in on the other’s still grinning face.   
“Even though I’m tired, I’ll make food for you. Because I love you from my head tomatoes.”  
With the last word, he stabbed the tomato in front of him triumphantly, just when Calle groaned and let his head sink down on the kitchen table in defeat.   
“Bård please. Don’t.”  
“What’s wrong, darling? Do you want to taco ‘bout it?”  
Calle didn’t move, he just whined loudly and let out a sob to appeal to Bård’s compassionate side. Apparently it didn’t work.   
“I donut understand why you’re so upset. I’m making you food, your belly will be full in no thyme. Don’t worry about that.”  
Bård grinned and grabbed the bread, cutting slices from it and placing it on the baking tray.  
He looked over at the other man, who still refused to make eye contact with him.   
“Mind if I turn on the radio? I need a little music.”  
“By all means, do turn it on! Just stop talking!” Calle looked up and he looked so relieved at the idea of shutting Bård up that it made the other one let out a not so graceful snort.  
“Okay then.” He said and reached up to press the button of the radio that was placed on the counter.  
  
An old pop song was on, making Bård move along to the rhythm immediately, and he bobbed his head to the beat while rummaging around in the cupboard for the condiments.   
“Oh, this is my jam!” he exclaimed and couldn’t help but feel self-satisfied when he heard proof of Calle’s misery.  
Bård stepped away from the counter and started singing along to the song, moving his hips and sliding around on his socks with his head falling back, his eyes closed.  
“Can’t let it get past me - you’re far from plastic - talk about getting blasted…I HATE THESE BLURRED LIIIMES”  
Calle got up and went to stand behind the younger man, reading up and placing his hands right on the nape of his neck, sliding his fingers carefully forward to they were lying around his throat without any pressure on them. Just resting there, a gentle warning.   
“Hey hey! You butter back off, man!”  
“Bård. Stop the puns, or I’ll hurt you.” Calle whispered into his ear.   
“Oh bitch, peas. You can’t hurt me. You love me.”  
“That doesn’t mean I couldn’t hurt you. I could call Vegard and have him come over and tell you all about this new book he got. It would turn into a two hour lecture on old Russian war technology.”  
  
Bård nodded. The music was still playing in the background, shifting smoothly to another song.   
“That would indeed be a bit boring. But then again, it would be nice to meat him and to ketchup. I haven’t seen him much this week, we were all so busy.”  
Calle tightened his fingers for a second and looked into those clear blue eyes when Bård tilted his head back to see him, blinding him with that bright smile. There was a sparkle in his gaze, one that he always got when he was happy. Calle kissed him quickly and voiced another threat to make the other stop the wordplays. He felt too tired for this shit.   
“It’s driving you nuts, isn’t it?” grinned Bård and turned back to his task.   
“Yes.” Answered Calle and looked at him across the room from his previous place that he had returned to. His eyebrows were so low on his forehead that his facial expression seemed even darker than usual.   
  
“It’s still not nice to a-salt me like that. I mean, I don’t know what eggs-actly you were trying to achieve with it, but it just makes me feel like you don’t carrot all about my happiness.”  
Calle threw an orange at him, which Bård skilfully dodged. This wasn’t the first fruit that had been thrown at him.   
“Okay then, lettuce move on! Although I gotta say. This fixation I have about awesome puns? It’s nacho problem.” Bård smiled and spread his arms wide.  
Calle screamed. Bård mentally pat himself on the back.   
“You can scream all you want. I don’t give a ham. It’s like having a bratty kid.”  
  
“Yeah you must know all about bratty kids…” muttered Calle before getting up and leaving the room. He had reached his limit.  
With one arm reaching out towards the other, Bård yelled after him.   
“No! Don’t leave! Olive you!!”  
“Then you must let me go!” screamed Calle back into the kitchen on his way to the sofa they had been sitting on before this madness had started. And he had no intent of going back there before Bård hadn’t cooled off and had stopped the silly jokes. It was just too much.  
  
Bård kept working on the tomato-basil mixture, placing it carefully on the bread slices and putting them in the oven. He smiled to himself when he washed his hands and dried them on the towel.  
He turned off the radio and walked over into the living room, finding his boyfriend lounging on the couch with a book in his hands.  
“Hey.”  
  
Calle looked at him suspiciously before moving to the side so Bård could lay down next to him.  
Immediately, there was an arm wrapped around Calle’s waist and warm lips against his neck, moving softly against his skin when he whispered.  
“I know you hate me sometimes, but I think we make a really great pear.”  
Calle huffed and Bård couldn’t stop his body from shaking with laughter at the other man’s frustration.   
“How do I make you shut up?”  
“Kiss me?”  
Calle leaned closer, capturing those soft lips with his own and finally, finally earning himself a little bit of peaceful silence.  
He pulled back a little and looked Bård in the eye.   
“So basically, me kissing you makes you shut up.”  
“Yep.” Bård nodded, his face so close he felt like he was slightly cross – eyed.   
“So you could say I’m doing this for the grater good.”  
A fist softly punched Calle’s chest, before the hand opened, slid up and found its way into his hair.   
“Rude.” uttered Bård under his breath before closing the distance and making good use of the time they had before the food was ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me if you found all 19... :)


	11. A glance in the future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two years later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a short chapter to bring this story to an end. I would hate myself for not finishing it, even though I am far from content with this. I apologize for not coming up with something better, but I feel like I have moved on and don't have other words to keep going. If you read this, thanks for still being here and for reading this silly thing. All the best to each and every one of you <3

Instead of flowers and chocolate, Calle got a maxi pack of Voltaren, Painkillers and a gift card for the best chiropractor in town.   
“Wow, thanks. That’s all I could ever ask for.”   
Calle didn’t look convinced and looked at the box in front of him with mild distaste.   
Bård shrugged and kept grinning at him. “What did you expect? I don’t do sappy gifts, and this is something you can actually use.”   
“I’m not 60 yet…” grumbled Calle into his scarf.   
“No, but you’re not that far away” Bård’s voice turned gravelly and dark, as if he was trying to convince Calle that he knew of some ancient prophecy that would decide his fate.   
Calle snorted and threw the balled up wrapping paper at him.   
“Shut up. I’m 40 and my back is better than yours has ever been.”   
“Yeah but that’s because I spent years of my life basically as a circus boy.”   
“Yeah. Right. Circus boy…”   
Bård kept moving up and down on his tiptoes, rubbing his hands excitedly.   
“So what did you get me?”   
Calle’s eyes widened comically. “Oh…”   
Bård pouted dramatically, but nodded his head slowly.   
“So you forgot. It’s fine. No problem. Umm...I’ll just...go get some food from the store or sth.”, he said and motioned towards the front door.   
Calle burst out laughing and waved him off.   
“Nah, don’t you worry. How could I forget our anniversary? You've been reminding me every day for two weeks.”   
Bård reached out to punch his arm. “Asshole.”   
“Nuh-uh. No insults today.”   
“It wasn’t. It’s my new nickname for you.”   
Calle couldn’t help but laugh, which kind of contradicted his goal to make Bård be nice to him today. Because he had actually planned the sappiest, most normal couple thing one could do for an anniversary date. He had booked a table in the fancy restaurant they always made fun of, he had gotten Bård a new watch with a heart and date engraved in the back plate (in retrospect he wondered why the heck he had done that, but he had been overwhelmed when the salesperson had asked him and just blurted out the first request that came to his mind...maybe he could play it off as a joke.), a bunch of flowers and tickets to a concert next week that Bård had been going on and on and on about for ages now.   
Thoughtful, romantic gifts that Bård would probably act disgusted about but Calle knew he would like them. He knew him well enough to know that.   
It was their two year mark, and neither of them was very big on making an anniversary a big thing. No party, no big announcement. They preferred to keep it to themselves and smile about it in private, because truth be told, neither of them had ever expected to end up here, in this relationship, two years from a drunken accident.   
Calle looked at Bård as he rummaged around their wardrobe to find something he apparently desperately needed and shook his head in wonder at what his life had become.   
It’s not that he wasn’t thankful. He truly was. Very much so. For every little thing that had happened during the past years. Sometimes it still hit him, though, how unusual and weird all of this was and how he still had a hard time accepting this as the new normal if he looked at it from his old perspective.

Sometimes, he thought, sometimes life is weird.   
And it’s better to just go along with it and see where it takes you, because sometimes you find love in the most unexpected places.


End file.
